bleedingangel84: (rose in rain)
Yay! The Supreme Court legalized gay marriage! I felt like I could've floated right out of my body hearing that. Just when I was about to give up hope for my neck of the woods to ever get out of the dark ages of discrimination, this happened. There is hope!!!

On a side note, has anyone made the switch over to Windows 10? Do you lose your programs, or do you keep your stuff? The reason I ask is because I use MicrosoftWord Starter 2010 that came installed on my system when writing fic, and I would hate to lose that just for an upgrade. Or any of my other programs for that matter. Is anyone on my flist tech-savvy enough to advise about whether I should upgrade or not? Share your thoughts please. I'd like someone else's input here. I don't trust myself not to fuck something up somewhere if I go through with this.
bleedingangel84: (pansies)
Ugh...I was supposed to help my sister proofread something. She emailed it to me, and I didn't get it until just now. I feel so guilty. :'(

I hate myself right now.

I suppose it's more email fail than sister-fail, but still...

I really wish I could hurt myself.

I feel like I deserve it for letting my sister down.

*headdesking of major proportions*


Jan. 28th, 2014 05:03 pm
bleedingangel84: (reflected moon)
I hate Itunes. I've wasted one whole afternoon trying to reinstall the fucker, which I never use anyway. I make no sense to myself sometimes, but it's one of those situations where it'll bug me until it functions again, and then I forget it exists because I don't use it Urgh.
bleedingangel84: (reflected moon)
Sunday night, my land line phone and my router for my computer got cooked by lightning that struck reeaallyy close to my house. Nothing caught on fire, and no one was hurt, thank goodness, but it meant being without my Internet for two days. Which was not nearly as annoying or traumatic as I would've expected it to be. There were certain aspects of it I actually loved. I spent most of that time reacquainting myself with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which I very much enjoyed doing.

I realized how much I miss reading books. And yes, I mean actually reading a physical book, complete with ink and paper and dust jacket and all those lovely things you don't get on an e-reader. I flat-out love reading books. For me, there is something akin to a spiritual feeling when I read. Especially when I'm reading a "real" book. I love the smell of old books and ink and the feeling of a book in my hands.
My sister thinks I'm a bit nuts for likening my predilection for physical books to something spiritual, but that is truly how I feel. Books are my friends. Books have always kept me company, even when most humans around me found me annoying and bothersome.

So yes, it does make me inexpressibly sad that my sister has gotten so used to reading on her Kindle that she finds it difficult to read a physical book anymore. It just makes something in me hurt in a way that I can't describe.

Not that I don't see the advantages of e-readers. I do. They make it possible to have access to many books at the same time, they save space, and they afford me privacy when reading things other people might raise eyebrows at. That in itself is reason enough for me to be in favor of e-readers. I appreciate my privacy and value it highly. I enjoy being able to read gay fiction, erotica, and religious texts all on the same device without anyone questioning me or telling me I shouldn't read this or that. It's a wonderful feeling.

But, so was reconnecting with physical books again. It always feels like coming home. I always feel safe inside whatever world it is I'm choosing to explore when I pick up a book. I don't feel the same sense of connection as strongly when I read electronically, despite the fact that I do it so often, especially in regards to fan fiction. Fan fiction is one of my joys in life, regardless of the means of access.

But what I missed most about having no Internet was not getting to talk with my friends. Much of my social interaction is online. My best friends are all either continents, countries or states away from me, and being online makes it possible to connect with them, for which I can only ever be grateful.

I was a bit of a technophobe for a really long time. In some ways, I still am. I love my computer, not necessarily for what it does, but for what it allows me to do. That is, connect to people.

The computer itself is just a tool, but I'm grateful that it allows me to express myself. I feel I can be more open and truthful online than I can in my day-to-day existence.  That may seem a sad thing, but it's true, and I'm grateful to once again have that outlet available to me.
bleedingangel84: (reflected moon) are really peeving me off. First, you stopped running when I try to run a full system scan. Then, when I try to close the program, it tells me that the framework is not responding. This happens several times. Error messages shit me. I'm not tech-minded, okay? I look. It says there's a patch for this, but I have no bloody idea how to get to it. And now the thing seems to be working again.*crosses fingers* And I did nothing. Why does technology hate me? *sobs in relief and frustration*


Nov. 29th, 2011 01:47 am
bleedingangel84: (Default)
Empty deep inside
Technology saves my sanity
All at once a barrier-and a

Malfunctioning computers
start the voices in my

Worthless child, you fail-AGAIN

God, how I want to make myself hurt-to bleed,
as if that will make things right.

Tears fall from my eyes.

God, how fucking pathetic are you?
Whining, snivilling bitch.
You call this a problem?

The constant derision is
on a loop in my head.

bleedingangel84: (Default)
I am sooooo frustrated and upset right now. It started a few days ago when Firefox was being an ass. It will open on my computer, and I can hear it working, but it wouldn't display. I installed Google Chrome at my brother-in-law's suggestion, and it worked fine. Stupid me couldn't leave well enough alone and had to try to fix Firefox again. Now, my computer is doing the same things with Chrome and other applications that it was doing with Firefox. I hate this. It makes me want to hurt myself. Why am I so stupid. Essh. Please ignore me.
bleedingangel84: (Default)
And on with the new. My birthday was yesterday. Imagine my shock and horror when my faithful and trusted Dell PC of six years decided to take a trip to the land of the big blue screens and gasped it's last breath. I was devastated. Luckily, it as my birthday, so I had a legitimate excuse to replace it right away. However, I decided not to get another Dell. Instead, I got an HP, which I am learning to love. I say learning because the switch from Windows XP to Windows 7 was incredibly jarring for me, but I'm slowly adapting to that. The worst part of this is losing all of the bookmarks I had saved on my computer. I'm slowly starting to build them up again, but it'll take awhile. I had a ton of recipes for my grandmother saved there, but who knows if I'll ever find them again? Need i say that's a colossal pain in the butt?

I need a vacation from my life, just for a little while.There's only so much retreating you can do online before you start to lose contact with humanity, and I'm nearing that point. People really do scare me sometimes. But then, half the time, I scare myself, so i don't guess it really matters much.

I have to send special thanks to[ profile] veritas03 and [ profile] nenne  , for the birthday post and v-gift, respectively. Thank you both for always being so kind and supportive when I'm down. It means a lot to me.

And many, many thanks go out to the various and numerous fan fiction authors who make my life enjoyable and not just livable. Anyone who writes has my utmost admiration. It is no easy task to perform, and I am in awe of those who can and do do it on a regular basis have  my sincere appreciation for their efforts. Thank you all.
bleedingangel84: (Default)
Firefox is suddenly blocking it as a possible attack site, and I have no idea as to why. It's making me paranoid. I was wondering if anyone else was having that issue. I've talked to a few other users there who are having the same problem. I'm running a full virus scan just to be on he safe side, but I really hope this is just a tech fart or something because of some ads. Ergh. Happy Birthday  to me.
bleedingangel84: (Default)
My "q" key is working again! I don't know why it stopped working in the first place, or why it started back, but man, am I glad it did. I never really realized how often I use that key till it wasn't working anymore. Anyway thank goodness it's back. I'm quite the happy camper now, at least until the next electronic disaster strikes.Let's hope that's not for a long time. 
bleedingangel84: (Default)
So, the "q" key on my actual keyboard is malfunctioning. If it wasn't for the onscreen keyboard, I wouldn't have been able to type that title. It's the only letter that's malfunctioning. Does anyone have a solution to this problem? It's driving mt OCD crazy. I feel like bawling my eyes out, and it's soooo stupid.  Grr.


bleedingangel84: (Default)

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