Title: Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle
Word Count: 560
Warnings: Possible mild Twilight saga bashing, ghost!Cedric; possible crack,
Notes: I have nothing against Stephenie Meyer or the series. I read it, I like it, so anyone reading this, don’t take anything that might be considered insulting as an attack, please. No hating to be had here.
Disclaimer: Don’t own Harry Potter or any character from Twilight
Written for: hd_fluff Fluffy Halloween Fest 2013 prompt-“Ha! I knew vampires don’t sparkle! Take that, Diggory!”
Summary: Draco knows real vampires don't sparkle, thank you very much.
Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle
“Harry, the film is on!”
“I have no idea why you wanted to rent Twilight, Draco.”
“Pansy said it was simply to die for. She loves all the movies.”
“Pansy Parkinson loves the Twilight saga. Since when has she turned into a Hufflepuff?”
“Are you insulting my house, Potter?”
C-Cedric? What are you doing here?
“It’s Halloween, Harry. I can visit the land of the living again one night a year, and this is it. I thought I’d come and see you since I felt you thinking about me. Don’t feel guilty over what happened to me. It was my time to go. Evidently, I’ve apparently been reincarnated as some kind of sparkly vegetarian vampire since my death.”
“Vampires don’t sparkle, Diggory! Didn’t you learn that in Defense classes?”
“Well, that bloke with my face certainly is glittering something fierce, isn’t he?”
“Edward Cullen is not a real vampire. Muggles know nothing of the reality of life, and just make up whatever suits their fancy. Sparkly vampires, indeed! Bah!”
“Draco, you are aware you’re arguing with a ghost, right?” Harry asked.
“Harry, you are aware we’re wizards, right? Ghosts are quite common in the magical world, and there is no such thing as a sparkly vampire. To claim there is insults their dignity.”
“And why couldn’t there be sparkly vampires, Malfoy? He’s quite the good looking fellow, even you must admit.”
“He’s not my type, Diggory. I prefer green-eyed, black-haired near-sighted men.”
“Ahh, so it’s a love match between you two, then?”
“Clearly, Diggory. Harry is perfect for me.”
“And he treats you right, Harry?”
“You wouldn’t know it to listen to him, but yes. He’s a marshmallow inside.”
“You lie, Potter. I’ll have your head for that!” Draco barked.
“Oh really? Which one?”
“Harry, not in front of company, please!”
“Oh, fine! Spoil my fun why don’t you?”
“I’ll leave you two to your sparkly vampires, then. Be well, Harry. Say, does Draco know about that spot on your neck? You used to melt every time.”
“Ced, stop teasing. Go and see Cho or something.”
“But you’re so much more fun to tease, Harry. Always were.”
Draco shot the pair a narrow-eyed look.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, Potter.”
“I was 14, just figured out I liked men, Cedric was friendly and good looking. End of.”
“End of nothing, Pothead! You are so mine!” Draco snarled, pouncing on Harry’s neck, laying claim with teeth and tongue.
“Ohh, Draco! Goddsss! Yessss!” he hissed, melting into his lover’s stinging kisses.
The two of them barely remembered that Cedric was in the room. When they looked up, they saw him staring at the two of them with a glazed look. If ghosts could’ve blushed, Cedric’s face would’ve been in flames.
Draco looked at him, his fangs still visible after the heated kissing Draco and Harry had been engaged in.
“Ha! I knew real vampires don’t sparkle! Take that, Diggory!”
Cedric broke out of his trance, glancing at Harry.
“Take care of him, won’t you?”
“Always. He means everything to me.”
Cedric disappeared without a word, leaving Harry to recover from his dazed shock.
“Did I take too much, love? Let me get you some cocoa. With marshmallows. You need the sugar.”
“You know, Draco, for a vampire, you’re a real softie.”
“Our little secret, right?”