You're very welcome, hon - if there's anything I can do from thousands of miles afar, just let me know.
Oh, you wouldn't believe some of the dark stuff I wrote when I was down! :P
Just to give you a hint, it starts with:
"Depressed,
destroyed,
with empty heart
once more I'm left behind." <--yeah, that bad, and it doesn't even end here ;) See, nowhere near the quality of your poems! But luckily it's not about quality, it's about getting it out of your system.:) I'm so glad you're doing just that.
I can't make your decisions for you, but perhaps one of my favourite fiction characters (besides Ron, of course) Tyrion Lannister, another outcast, has a point: "Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities."
Hang on in there, with a mega-hug from your left and one from your right to support you! ;)