![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I got back from spending a few days with my aunt yesterday. I sort of enjoyed the time away from home, but I am glad not to be parked in front of the television anymore. There is only so much television you can watch before it gets boring, and I was well past that point by the time I got home.Give me a good book or CD any day of the week, but TV gets monotonous. I missed my friends, my books and my music.
The majority of my social interaction in real life is with my family. I'd go so far as to say a good 98% of it is with people related to me by blood. For anyone who regularly reads my journal, you know that this is not always a good thing. A fair amount of the time, my family manages to leave me disheartened with myself, them and human kind in general. This may be due to a character flaw on my part. I really couldn't say. All I know is, most of the time I never feel like I do the right things in their sight. Or my own, truth be told. The only ones who I feel truly love me no matter what are my two nephews. I'd cut out my own heart before I'd let anyone hurt them, myself included.
I love my family.Especially my nephews, who are two of the sweetest, most openhearted people on the planet. I hope they don't lose that as they grow up. I just want them to grow up happy and safe. I pray they are never plagued by the guilt that I've experienced for most of my life.
All the same, sometimes I wish I had the option of getting away from everyone with a familial connection to me. My physical circumstances are such that I'm dependent on them to a degree that leaves me feeling hopeless and frustrated. As many times as I've attempted to elucidate that for them, they never seem to understand the extent to which this flat-out BUGS me.
I know you guys are probably tired of hearing about that by now, and I do apologize. One day, I hope to figure out a way around them, and then I can quit my complaining over the 'Net.
Anyway...
My resolutions seem to be going fairly well. I'm listening to more music, drinking more fluid, laughing a little more, and doing my best to see the good in myself. As for the exercise, that's going great, too.
I've been doing yoga and arm exercises, plus a little walking. I can't tell physically whether it's made a difference or not, but mentally, I feel better knowing I'm trying to improve myself in some way. I suppose that's the important thing, right?
Hope everyone is doing well. Love you all and wish you all well.
The majority of my social interaction in real life is with my family. I'd go so far as to say a good 98% of it is with people related to me by blood. For anyone who regularly reads my journal, you know that this is not always a good thing. A fair amount of the time, my family manages to leave me disheartened with myself, them and human kind in general. This may be due to a character flaw on my part. I really couldn't say. All I know is, most of the time I never feel like I do the right things in their sight. Or my own, truth be told. The only ones who I feel truly love me no matter what are my two nephews. I'd cut out my own heart before I'd let anyone hurt them, myself included.
I love my family.Especially my nephews, who are two of the sweetest, most openhearted people on the planet. I hope they don't lose that as they grow up. I just want them to grow up happy and safe. I pray they are never plagued by the guilt that I've experienced for most of my life.
All the same, sometimes I wish I had the option of getting away from everyone with a familial connection to me. My physical circumstances are such that I'm dependent on them to a degree that leaves me feeling hopeless and frustrated. As many times as I've attempted to elucidate that for them, they never seem to understand the extent to which this flat-out BUGS me.
I know you guys are probably tired of hearing about that by now, and I do apologize. One day, I hope to figure out a way around them, and then I can quit my complaining over the 'Net.
Anyway...
My resolutions seem to be going fairly well. I'm listening to more music, drinking more fluid, laughing a little more, and doing my best to see the good in myself. As for the exercise, that's going great, too.
I've been doing yoga and arm exercises, plus a little walking. I can't tell physically whether it's made a difference or not, but mentally, I feel better knowing I'm trying to improve myself in some way. I suppose that's the important thing, right?
Hope everyone is doing well. Love you all and wish you all well.
