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Well, hell...
Jan. 14th, 2013 03:07 amI snapped tonight. I ended up cutting. I'm not proud of that. I usually handle things better. It wasn't something I planned or decided on, it just happened. I was upset and feeling guilty and hurt and unworthy. Defective, like I'm nothing but a walking blot on humankind. Which everybody I talk to tells me I shouldn't feel, but I can't help feeling.
It feels like I'm never allowed to just express what I feel. There's always somebody there with a reason why what I feel isn't right, and it sucks.
I'm not sure what to do anymore. I know my family cares, but I don't think they know how to help me. I don't know if they ever did, but I know I can't handle making life changes without some support.
I'm not even sure they are capable of giving what I need. I'm not even completely sure I know what that is anymore, but there has to be more than this.
It feels like I'm never allowed to just express what I feel. There's always somebody there with a reason why what I feel isn't right, and it sucks.
I'm not sure what to do anymore. I know my family cares, but I don't think they know how to help me. I don't know if they ever did, but I know I can't handle making life changes without some support.
I'm not even sure they are capable of giving what I need. I'm not even completely sure I know what that is anymore, but there has to be more than this.
