My life feels like the most boring horror movie ever

[bleedingangel84]

Being away from home can totally suck. I'm just sayin'. I feel like I hardly got sleep last night. I wanted my internet, my sofa and my tv. I discovered last night that I cannot sleep in total quiet. It was great spending non-school time with my babies, but other than that, it was a suckfest. I'm in my house right now, because I'm allowed to be here during the day, but they throw fits about me staying alone at night. Harrgh. I am so tired today that I nearly burst into tears. I miss my grandmother being here, which is bad enough, but the rest of it is just icing on the shit cake.

I know, I shouldn't complain. I'm not the one whose hip went kablooey. I'm not in the hospital facing rehab. For all of which I am hugely thankful. I just miss being able to actually stay in my home, with my things, and following my own routines. I felt like a visitor here today, which is weird. It's my house, and I felt like some sort of interloper.

Blurgh...my brain feels like a runny egg...can I please have hugs? Homeschool was...unh...I can't even. Do not want.

Haven't seen Nannie today

Oh, and nephew's comment was that "the devil was playing with us today". o..O

Seriously, how do you even respond to something like that? What the holy fuck? I was speechless.

Comments

[my_thestral]

Meh, life is just not working in your direction right now, is it? :P Poor you - here *dumps a truck of hugs on you until you scream "enough, enough with the damn things already, I get your point!"* :)
I can understand why it frustrates you not being at home, but if it really is unavoidable, I suppose you just have to trick your brain into thinking this is a good experience instead of a bad one. It's your adventure. Write a fic about the place you're in (possibly a scary one, so every squeak of the floor board would make you jump 5 feet in the air - beats boredom and anxiety every time! ;)), pretend this is one of your HP locations (if it's a squeaky old house, it could be Grimmauld place, if it's a hospital - there's where Neville's parents are... just use your imagination to make the most of it. Do try. I'm sure you've got better ideas than mine, but don't just surrender to the sad reality, put up a fight.:) I had a friend who went to visit family from central Europe to England by train every year - and cause it was a long run, she would write fantasy stories about the people sitting opposite her. :)
Well, I assume that your nephew is still a child and when my two imports from Mordor come up with such remarks, there's no point in being knocked out of balance by them - children says the darndest things and perhaps you should listen. Ask him what he meant by it, why did he say something like that, did he hear it from someone, tell him he made you feel uncomfortable - you need to make kids think about their words and what they're saying, not just repeat meaningless gibberish, that can be hurtful or just plain stupid. My experience is that it's the best if you react calmly and with interest, what could possibly be hiding behind those words. Wanna bet it's interesting? :)
But I understand that if you're tired and sad you can't deal with it, so you tell him to think about what he just said to you, cause you find it intriguing and you'll want an explanation later. :)

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

That is excellent advice, thank you. I have a feeling I know where nephew's comment came from, though. His parents are religious, and when he has a really stinky day, which yesterday was, he tends to blame Satan. Which I really don't know how to respond to. I don't believe in the dude with the pitchfork, but if I say that, my family thinks that I'm some kind of heathen because not believing in Satan is the same as not believing in God. I have actually been told that by my grandmother before. It's a bit of an awkward situation because I don't want to be accused of influencing him away from his faith or anything like that, but my beliefs are different, so I was just quiet. It felt really awkward and uncomfortable for me, but I don't think he caught why. It was a real "deer in the headlights" moment. I try to live by "live and let live" as long as no one is hurting anyone else, but it does make for some awkward moments with my family. I believe that if we were all the same, the world would be a boring place, and if people respect me, then I respect them. Everyone deserves to follow whatever path they choose in life, even if that is no path. That's my take on it, anyhow.

I should definitely start thinking about some fics to write.Thank you so much for the great ideas. Thank you again for all the support and advice. I am so grateful.

[my_thestral]

Meh, religious topics are always "best to avoid" material, if you're likely to clash, I think.
I was raised a Catholic and my parents are still pretty religious. I tend to go to Church 3 times a year, Christmas, Easter and the Day of the dead (November 1) - and I'm done, thank you very much. My BF is complete atheist (or Mr. Antichrist, as we lovingly refer to him ;)), but when I told him I'll have the kids baptized, whether he likes it or not, because that's the only way I can pass them on my cultural tradition (not belief, no one can give you that), he mumbled something and let me go through with it anyway, he was even there to hold the kids, each time, cause it's a nice ceremony.
I want my kids to be able to understand the morals and the traditions behind Christmas and other holidays, but if they grow up to be buddhists or atheists, or Muslim, I couldn't care less. Their lives, their choices. I've got all kinds of friends Muslim, Buddhist, Orthodox, Jewish - agnostic, apparently - and I don't judge and I respect their traditions, I find them fascinating, actually. :)
I wouldn't describe myself as religious, but I find it easier to live with faith - but that's your choice and not your duty. :)
You know what they say - believing that going to church makes you a good person is like standing in a garage, thinking you're a car. ;)
Though the other time a meme made me laugh - but mind you, I've got a really black sense of humor. It was a picture of a grave with an inscription that went something like that: Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and nowhere to go. :D Please don't be offended, if we met in real life, I wouldn't have even bothered asking you about things of faith, to me it's irrelevant, just like sexual orientation. Entirely your business. :)
Good luck with dealing with the nephew, make him think about his words and perhaps he'll start thinking about what he says and why he says it. More supersized hugs, that's right, my mission in life is to drown you in them! ;)

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I am not in the least offended by anything you said. My sense of humour can be pretty dark as well, and I don't believe hell exists anyway. Lol. I wouldn't call myself religious in a conventional understanding of the word, but I do have faith in a higher power. I have a pretty negative personal history with organized religion, but I tend to think religion and spirituality are two separate things altogether. That's just my personal opinion on the subject. I don't like to label myself, but if I had to, it would probably fall somewhere between Christianity, Paganism and Buddhism. Most of my family still thinks of me as Christian, but I don't feel comfortable calling myself that. Labels just complicate things. I do think that it's a personal thing, and it is no one's right to dictate what someone else should believe. I do my best not to judge anyone on what they believe, because their truth is theirs and may very well be different from mine. Thank you so much for always being so supportive. I can't tell you what that means to me, especially right now. *hugs*

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

*sends hugs*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you so much.

[lyonessheart.livejournal.com]

sending a ton of hugs as well!

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you very much.