Cupid Ron

[bleedingangel84]

Title: Cupid Ron

Author: bleedingangel84

Beta: None

Pairing: Harry/Draco, background Hermione/Ron

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Snark, insults, inebriation, language, pre-slash

Word Count: 365

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made.

Written for: hogwarts365 Prompt #133-“What people have the capacity to choose, they have the ability to change.” ― Madeleine Albright; Boardinghouse; Primitive

Notes: This is just some random thing written in the hours before any sane person would be awake. I have no Earthly idea where it came from at all, so if you don’t like it, feel free to tell me.

Summary: Ron plays an unlikely Cupid to Draco and Harry.

Cupid Ron

“Malfoy, have you seen Harry anywhere?”

“Weasley, why are you even here? We do not run a boardinghouse.”

“It was my engagement party, you stinking ferret. I was too pissed to Apparate home, so Harry said I could stay here last night.”

Ah, yes, I seem to recall something from last night. You and your bride-to-be wouldn’t stop pawing at one another. It looked like some sort of primitive mating ritual. The two of you nearly made me sick.”

“I can’t help it if you’re a jealous prat, Malfoy.”

“Do you hear yourself when you speak, Weaslelbee? What in Merlin’s name are you on about now?”

“You. Are. Jealous.”

Of you? Hardly! I’ve no desire to be anywhere near Hermione Granger’s female parts, thank you.”

“Don’t try to play dumb. You know exactly what I mean. I’ve seen the way you look at Harry. Like he’s a chocolate éclair, and you want to eat him.”

“You’ve really gone off your trolley this time, Weasley. I do not like Potter.”

“Yes, you do. You like him, and you’re too scared of being rejected to admit it.”

“I’m not scared to admit anything, because there’s nothing to admit. All that Firewhiskey has clearly addled what little brains you possess. It’s quite a shame, really. Why would I be jealous of your freckled arse?”

“Because I’m marrying the woman I love, and you can’t even muster up enough nerve to tell Harry you want to fuck him.”

“I don’t want to fuck, Potter. Merlin Weasley, you are a stupid tosser.”

“Malfoy, he watches you as well. He likes you.”

“He tolerates me, Weasley, because we’re forced to share living space in Auror training. That’s all.”

“I’ve known Harry for years. I know what he looks like when he likes someone, and you are it.”

“I can’t believe you, Weasley. Even if he does like me, why would you tell me? You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. Arguing with you is just too fun.”

“Even if Potter does like me, it doesn’t change anything.”

“What people have the ability to choose, they have the capacity to change.”

“What are you saying?”

“Ask him out, or I’ll hex you.”