Giant post of F*CK

Can anyone guess what my favorite swear word has been lately? in starts with an "F". I should preface this by saying that "fuck" is a word I try to use sparingly. For me, it's like the Cool Whip of swear words, if you will. But lately, I've been using that one like it's going out of style.  I'm fighting the urge to just roll over and give up. I have a lot of anger coming from somewhere inside me, and swearing helps release the tension I feel. I figure that could only be a good thing,

All I really want is to feel calm and rested. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

Too bad life is still throwing curve balls at my damn head too fast for me to even contemplate catching them.

My grandmother's husband, who is for all intents and purposes, my grandfather, has a spot on his lung that may or may not be cancer.

Have I mentioned how much I hate that disease?

I really fucking hate it.

I keep having flashbacks  to my dad.

I miss him so much.

I'm not suicidal now, just angry.

I want to hurt something.

I want to hit something.

I am angry, and I wish I could hurt. But I'm not allowed to

*growls at the world in general*