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The Fear of Hot Dogs
Feb. 11th, 2013 06:37 amI used to have dreams about eating huge plates of food. I mean gigantic, huge portions. Things I'd never have let myself eat in RL at the time. Especially tiramisu. And macaroni and cheese. And pizza.And massive hotdogs with chili and cheese. I still can't eat a full-on hotdog in RL, though. I can eat the components of one, but for some reason the thought of eating them all together makes my stomach clench in fear.
It makes me a little sad, because hotdogs used to be one of my favorite things ever. Now they scare me. I've mostly dealt with my food issues, but that one is lingering something fierce.
I can remember sitting there crying when my father fixed them for dinner, because the thought of eating them upset me so much.
I felt so much guilt and shame. He looked at me like I was insane and kind of laughed at my expression. He said I was looking at my food like it would attack me, but that's almost how it felt. I hated it.
I think it may be time to make an attempt at eating them again.
It makes me a little sad, because hotdogs used to be one of my favorite things ever. Now they scare me. I've mostly dealt with my food issues, but that one is lingering something fierce.
I can remember sitting there crying when my father fixed them for dinner, because the thought of eating them upset me so much.
I felt so much guilt and shame. He looked at me like I was insane and kind of laughed at my expression. He said I was looking at my food like it would attack me, but that's almost how it felt. I hated it.
I think it may be time to make an attempt at eating them again.
