Why am I writing this?

There are days when life seems like a bitter pill that I'm forced to swallow. Days when I wake up and just feel like stepping out of my skin. I want to scream. These last few days have been odd. On the surface of it, I'm fine. I'm eating, sleeping, and functioning. And that's all good, right?

But, there's the other side of things that keeps creeping up. Sometimes I think dying would be a relief. I'm sick of my body. I'm sick of limitations and having no one around but my family. I love them, don't mistake me. But, it would be so nice to have someone else in my support system besides them.

I'm around them so much that their very presence is an irritant sometimes. And I depend on them, so it's semi-inevitable. I just...*sigh*...I don't even know what to say now. Words are beyond this. I just feel like howling.

All of that said, if any of you feel so inclined, may I please have a hug?