Battles Over Bacon
Mar. 26th, 2021 06:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bleedingangel84Title: Battles Over Bacon
Author:bleedingangel84
Beta: None
Pairing: Ron/Draco
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild sexual suggestion
Word Count: 365
Written for:![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hogwarts365 Prompt 06-“I had a dream last night…”, Romilda Vane, Character Death.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made.
Notes: Apparently this Ron/Draco was in my brain. I hope readers appreciate this little slice of silliness.
Summary: Ron really shouldn’t eat bacon before bed.
“Nooooo!!!!”
“Ronald, calm down. It is just a film, for Merlin’s sake.”
“You do know that the Titanic did actually sink, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’m aware of that. And that was a horrible and preventable human tragedy. But I refuse to get overly emotional about some overly-romanticised version of it.”
“You have no heart, Malfoy.”
“Just because I’m not bawling my eyes out that she let Leonardo DiCaprio go under like a human ice lolly does not mean I’m heartless.”
“Says you.”
“You’re hopeless, Ronald. Writers create these characters and make you get attached to them. Character death is sometimes just a part of moving a story along. With that said, I do not like letting myself be manipulated that way.”
“Don’t you ever just get caught up in something and forget yourself?”
“I got caught up in you the first time we kissed.”
“Parkinson should never have dared me to do that.”
“I’m glad she did. Otherwise we might never have ended up together.”
“I had a dream last night. I ended up with Romilda Vane, and she kept dosing me with potions to make me her love slave.”
“That seems more like a nightmare, honestly.”
“For some reason, she was determined to feed me poisoned tofu.”
“Your mind is a strange place.”
“And then I fed poisoned tofu to her cat. The cat died. I felt a bit sad, but not really because Muffy liked to scratch me.”
“Perhaps you ought not to eat bacon before you go to bed.”
“What does bacon have to do with anything?”
“Clearly, bacon does not agree with your subconscious.”
“If you try to take my bacon, I will hurt you.”
“If you put me out of commission that means no sex for the length of time it takes me to heal. That would be like punishing yourself.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
“Well, you’ll have to adapt. I’m right most of the time. But I love you too much to forbid you from bacon entirely. I merely ask that you refrain from eating it just before you sleep. It’s no fun waking up to your thrashing elbows.”
“I’m sorry, love. Should I kiss it better?”
Author:
bleedingangel84 Beta: None
Pairing: Ron/Draco
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild sexual suggestion
Word Count: 365
Written for:
hogwarts365 Prompt 06-“I had a dream last night…”, Romilda Vane, Character Death.Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made.
Notes: Apparently this Ron/Draco was in my brain. I hope readers appreciate this little slice of silliness.
Summary: Ron really shouldn’t eat bacon before bed.
“Nooooo!!!!”
“Ronald, calm down. It is just a film, for Merlin’s sake.”
“You do know that the Titanic did actually sink, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’m aware of that. And that was a horrible and preventable human tragedy. But I refuse to get overly emotional about some overly-romanticised version of it.”
“You have no heart, Malfoy.”
“Just because I’m not bawling my eyes out that she let Leonardo DiCaprio go under like a human ice lolly does not mean I’m heartless.”
“Says you.”
“You’re hopeless, Ronald. Writers create these characters and make you get attached to them. Character death is sometimes just a part of moving a story along. With that said, I do not like letting myself be manipulated that way.”
“Don’t you ever just get caught up in something and forget yourself?”
“I got caught up in you the first time we kissed.”
“Parkinson should never have dared me to do that.”
“I’m glad she did. Otherwise we might never have ended up together.”
“I had a dream last night. I ended up with Romilda Vane, and she kept dosing me with potions to make me her love slave.”
“That seems more like a nightmare, honestly.”
“For some reason, she was determined to feed me poisoned tofu.”
“Your mind is a strange place.”
“And then I fed poisoned tofu to her cat. The cat died. I felt a bit sad, but not really because Muffy liked to scratch me.”
“Perhaps you ought not to eat bacon before you go to bed.”
“What does bacon have to do with anything?”
“Clearly, bacon does not agree with your subconscious.”
“If you try to take my bacon, I will hurt you.”
“If you put me out of commission that means no sex for the length of time it takes me to heal. That would be like punishing yourself.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
“Well, you’ll have to adapt. I’m right most of the time. But I love you too much to forbid you from bacon entirely. I merely ask that you refrain from eating it just before you sleep. It’s no fun waking up to your thrashing elbows.”
“I’m sorry, love. Should I kiss it better?”