Fighting self-destruction

[bleedingangel84]

Hi, all. Well, it's me. I'd say the title is pretty self explanatory here. I'm currently fighting the urge(s) to slip back into some very self-destructive habits that I have. I call them habits, but that's somewhat of a misnomer here. What they really are is coping mechanisms that are very unhealthy. I'm a tad bit on edge recently, and I'm mentally straining toward the comfort of something familiar. Combined with my urge to do something that's a tad bit reckless, that makes the unsafe options ever so much more appealing. I feel like a rock that the river of negativity is slowly crumbling to dust. I honestly feel as if I could curl up and sleep forever. I'm so tired of always feeling like I'm working to contain myself or control myself. It would feel good to be able to just let go for once.