Blaarghh...

[bleedingangel84]

For some reason, I'm having a difficult time at the moment. I'm feeling kind of emotionally wobbly. I really wish I could cry, but I'm not unhappy. I just feel odd. Maybe anxious is a better term. All I know is, I have the strange urge to make myself invisible, and I really want to bleed. Sorry if that sounds confusing to anyone, but I'm struggling to decipher this myself.

One of my friends is having a birthday today. For a long time, she was the only one I trusted with myself. She knows me better than almost anyone, and I can share nearly anything with her and not feel self-conscious. She's seen my highs, my lows and everywhere in between. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have a friend like that. For nearly seven years, she's always been there for me, and she still is.

You'd think that would make me happy, and it does, in a way. I can't help feeling that I don't deserve so much loyalty. I try my best to be a good friend to her in return, but I can't help feeling that I fall short of where I'd like to be as a friend. I know I'm only human. I can't be Wonder Woman, even if I tried.  I know I can't fix everything for everyone, but part of me wishes I could.

This was a really random entry, I know. My opinion of myself isn't very high right now. I just want to curl up with some comfort food and a book, and avoid the human race for awhile.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Let your friend judge for herself what a good friend you are to her. I think you're selling yourself short here.

Hope things are looking up for you now; I'm behind on reading.