Confused, feeling hopeless and triggered

[bleedingangel84]

Why is it that everything is a trigger right now? Everything. I try to distract, to do healthy things, to read, exercise, make myself eat when I'm supposed to, and I'm still so fucking triggered. And bored. I'm listless, lonely and hurting. I try spending time with people, and I'm still so triggered. That made it worse. I tried to make plans. My sister has no money, my aunt has a hurting leg. I'm stuck here, and for fuck's sake, I feel like screaming. I want to get it over with and just cut. Let myself bleed some of this out. I feel like crying. I feel like I'm nothing but a damn burden on the people I care for. I fuck up every relationship, I can't relate well to my family. Even when I'm talking to them, sometimes it feels there is no connection happening. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but it feels like my fault. I don't know how to fix it, or even if there's anything to fix in the first place. Maybe this is some bullshit that's all in my head.