Musing...

[bleedingangel84]

It's nearly 2 AM. I'm tired. I should be asleep, and yet, I'm not. Gahh.

I need some 'me' time. I'm starting to feel a low tolerance for life in general again.

Part of me wishes I could just escape. It's not that I want to die, it's just that I wish I didn't have to be here.

I wish I could scream.

Comments

[my_thestral]

Uhhh, I know you don't know me an all, but I'm a fellow HP lover, so that should at least give us some sort of common ground.:)Perhaps I'm in no position to give any good advice, but since I've stumbled upon this...
Everyone's got those moments and the best I can tell you is that 2 AM is not a good time to make any major decisions.:) If you can't sleep - which I often can't either even though I get less than 5 hours of sleep every day - you should find a way to entertain yourself with something you love best to keep your spirits up. Read some good fan fiction.:) Write a really dark piece. Find focus, cause you can't afford to lose it in the dark hours of the day and you probably realize things look different in the daylight.
I've had a really bad time last year, so to pick myself up, I started planning a visit to London and it kept me up for the rest of the year. And I was super proud of myself when I made it there - it gave me purpose and a sense of accomplishment. It was just 5 days away from the boring job and the screaming kids and I've been running on the energy and inspiration it gave me ever since. I even got to see the HP studios, yey me! ;)
I hope you can find something you can look forward to, I'm rooting for you. I've been in the tar pit of depression far to many times to think "oh, it'll pass on its own" - sometimes you need a little something to focus on. Sometimes well timed words can help you bridge the dark times, but not always. Humans were born to have purpose - it used to be finding food and mating (heh), now with abundance of resources and partners it's a bit more complicated.
Living in a complex society often leaves you with a hole in your chest and a loss of balance - where the hell am I headed?
But you know yourself, you know what makes you happy. Being creative and travelling makes me happy - what's brings a smile to your face? I hope by the time this reaches you, you're better already.:)

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the words of support and advice. I really appreciate everything you said. It gives me a lot to ponder. :) It means a lot to me that you took the time to leave such a thoughtful response. I'm doing a bit better today.

[my_thestral]

I'm so glad you seem to be a tad better. As Dory from Finding Nemo said: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. :) Wise words, no doubt.

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I love Finding Nemo. :)