Can I please ask a favor?

[bleedingangel84]

If you guys feel so inclined, please say a prayer or think good thoughts for my grandmother. She was admitted to the hospital today. She hasn't been able to walk in the last couple of weeks. They thought that she had bursitis, but it turns out it was a hip fracture. They are replacing her hip tomorrow. They've said they would have her up on it by Saturday, but I can't help feeling anxious about it, just a little. Hospitals and doctors and surgieries and anesthesia all make me squirm just a bit because of my own medical history. And the fact that the doctors didn't catch this sooner just makes me shake my head. I mean, I know that doctors are only human, but it seems that if they go to school to become doctors, they should be able to catch things like this before hip replacement becomes a necessary thing.

I don't know, maybe I'm being unfair to them, but she's my grandmother, and I want her well and safe at home, not in some hospital. I feel all oogley and discombobled and like I just want to turn into a waterfall and run away so I don't have to be me right now.

My sister is staying with me tonight because I'm "not allowed" to stay by myself. With all this going on, is it weird that this bothers me almost as much as what's happening with my grandmother? I mean, I know why they won't won't let me, but on some levels, it really bugs the shit out of me. I'm thirty years old, not thirteen. I know I don't live in the safest area, but if shit's going to happen to me, it will happen wherever I am.

That's what has been going on in my life. I feel like a selfish person even considering myself at a time like this, but I am battling really self-destructive thoughts at the moment. I wish I could make myself bleed. But, I won't. I won't make my family feel worse. I know deep inside that I am stronger than anyone realizes, so I will deal with this in some other way.

Comments

[digthewriter]

♥

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. <3

[kitty_fic]

sending happy thoughts and prayers <3

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. <3

[my_thestral]

Oh, damn, poor gradma! :P But at least they figured it out on time, didn't they, and in hospitals they tend to make people better not worse, regardless of how scary they are.:) Sending a big hot balloon of good wishes to grandma!
I can completely understand that you are irked by being "baby-sitted", but if you can't really do anything about it - perhaps you only need to change your attitude and make something nice of it. Smile instead of frown and maybe make it a bonding night. Or a card-playing night. Or a truth or dare... or maybe not, don't listen to me, my ideas tend to go from bad to worse. ;)
In any event, big fat hugs to pull through this fast and with grace! :)

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your support and understanding. I think playing truth or dare with my relatives might scar me for life, but it is a good idea to look for positives instead of only seeing the bad stuff. *hugs* thank you so much for the hugs and for everything. <3

[roelliej.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight* <3

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you so much. <3 You are in my thoughts.

[roelliej.livejournal.com]

<3

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

<3

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

I'm behind in reading, and I hope by now your grandmother is recovering from a successful surgery.

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Jae. <3