Bacon Fetish

[bleedingangel84]

Title: Bacon Fetish

Author: bleedingangel84

Beta: None

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Silly, somewhat crackish premise, slight language, snark

Word Count: 365

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made.

Notes: Silly idea that has been floating around in my brain and insisted on being written. Credit goes to my_thestral for planting the seed that flowered into this…whatever this is. Not beta’ed, but I hope you can all enjoy this anyhow.

Written for: hogwarts365 prompt # 64-“You have your moments. Not many, but you do.”; Pink; Stuttering.

Summary: Draco is wearing a bacon costume. Ron thinks Malfoy has never looked so good.

Bacon Fetish

“Weasley! What are you doing here?”

“Malfoy? Why are you dressed in a bacon costume?”

“I happen to be working, Weaselbee."

“You have your moments. Not many, but you do. Dressed as a giant strip of bacon. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“Yes, well, if you kill yourself guffawing over me, don’t expect me to feel sorry. I’m supporting myself.”

“It’s just so hilarious to see the pristine Draco Malfoy seeming less-than-perfect after all the taunting I’ve endured from you.”

“I had two choices, Weasley. If I didn’t wear this monstrosity of a costume, I was going to lose this job. I wore the costume.”

“Why bacon?”

“Can’t you read? My employer is selling sandwiches made of bacon, lettuce and tomato. I got the short straw because I was the last hired. Thus, I’m wearing bacon.”

“It’s a good look on you, Malfoy.”

“I’m certain you’d think so.”

“You look flushed. Your face is all pink. Is that your bacon frying?”

“Oh, very amusing. Please leave.”

“Not just yet. You’ve gone and made me hungry with that silly thing.”

“Miracle of miracles, a hungry Weasel. Now there’s a novelty. Much as I’ve enjoyed trading lackluster barbs with a half-wit, some of us do have work to do, you know.”

“I thought the customer was always right.”

“You’ve not bought anything yet, Weasley.”

“I’ll take a bacon sandwich with lettuce and tomato. You make it look so tempting.”

“Weasley. You are a daft, stuttering idiot. Was that an attempt to flirt?”

“Clearly, they need to send you on a customer relations course.”

“You need to learn not to antagonise the people who handle your food, Weasley. Luckily for you, I’m a Malfoy and am immune to such things.”

“I’m paying you a compliment, Malfoy.”

“That’s—you are mental, Weasley!”

“I must be to find your arse so appealing. Especially in that suit.”

“I think someone has a bacon fetish.”

“Mmm…bacon.”

“You’ve the mentality of a root vegetable.”

“Mum says vegetables are good for you.”

“Weasley, that line is lame, and I’m not desperate. Come back when you can form a complex thought.”

“Can I get the sandwich?”

“I rest my case.”

Comments

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy this made you laugh. It just would not get out of my head until I wrote it. I've been thinking about it for a while now, so I'm glad it's finally written. Funnily enough, I really can't take credit for Draco's snark. He seems to write himself that way in my head, especially when he's dealing with Ron.But I am glad he meets with your approval. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a great comment. that means a lot to me. :)