Yet MORE family health news...

[bleedingangel84]

Eesh, just make it stop already! I just found out that my cousin has a gimungous cyst on her ovary, which may or may not be cancerous. She's having surgery to remove the sucker sooon. They are thinking it isn't cancerous, but she still has to see a specialist and all that lovely stuff to make sure. I wish I had a light saber or a wand that could obliterate all cancer from the planet. I hate it. My cousin is a tough lady. We aren't super close because we don't see each other so often, but I do not want to lose anyone in my family. Especially not to something as awful as cancer. I feel like screaming. I actually think I might do it. It would certainly be healthier than everything else going on in my mind at the moment. Anyway, if you would, please send some good thoughts and/or prayers for her and her family. I know this is hard on them. I'm sorry to have to ask again so soon, but sometimes life just seems determined to hand us challenges. It seems like my relatives are definitely getting their fair share, and then some. They totally do not deserve that.

Comments

[my_thestral]

Oh, damn, this is getting ridiculous!:( Maybe it's just this one year you have to all go through, you know, walk through the fire and get purged, and then you'll be fine for a few decades! I hope at least your own health is holding, dammit!
But that said: you can't carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders, hon. As much as you want to have the power to just fix everything for everyone - you can't. Everyone's got their own destiny and the most you can do is to pray that everything works out for them. When a loss comes, we have to weather it, because it's not our personal failure of some sorts (some people treat it like this), but because none of us were meant to stay. If the worst happens, you have to be prepared and not react destructively towards yourself, but think of all the good they've done in their life and remember that it was a good one. For me it helps to believe that they're not really gone, they've only moved forward sooner than I did and once I do, we'll see each other again.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to depress you or because I don't believe in your cousin's recovery, but because you need a coping mechanism of some sorts for the time when something is beyond your help and prayers. It's never beyond hope, just remember that.
Stay strong and more embarrassing amounts of hugs!

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I agree, it's getting crazy. My own health is pretty much fine, thank goodness. I just wish that there was more I could do than pray for people. Just...I don't know, something more tangible? I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst while hoping for the best, but the truth is that it's hard to know what to do about anything. It scares me sometimes how self-destructive my thoughts are, but I'm pretty good at sitting on them without acting on them. If I wasn't, I probably wouldn't still be alive right now. I have faith that everything will work out for the best, regardless of what happens, but sometimes I can't help having human moments of "why the fuck"? I've had my fair share of experiences in life that let me know the people I've lost aren't really gone, but I'd still like to have them with me for as long as I can. I think in part because losing my father happened so quickly, I'm a little more prone to want to hold tight to the family that are still here. I do have coping mechanisms, but sometimes the screwed-up part of my brain is really loud. I'm doing my best though, to try and do what I know is healthy for me, instead of caving in under everything. Thank you again for the hugs and support. It really means a lot to me. *squishy hugs*