Conspiracy Theory

[bleedingangel84]

Title: Conspiracy Theory

Author: bleedingangel84

Beta: None

Pairing: Ron/Draco

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 365

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made.

Written for: hogwarts365 Prompt #129-“I don’t hate you… I just don’t like that you exist.”; Elephant; Conspiracy

Notes: This was really just an excuse to bash on Zacharias. I don’t like him one bit in canon, and rarely have I liked him in fics. Ron and Draco insisted on working together this week, and this is the result. Apologies to anyone who actually likes Zacharias, but I couldn’t resist this.

Summary: Zacharias is beginning to think everyone hates him. Ron and Draco prove him right. For once.

Conspiracy Theory

“Weasley! Come along! You’re needed in the field. And this time, please do remember not to go tromping about like an elephant and alert out suspect.”

“That was Zacharias’s fault Malfoy, and you know it. He nearly flunked stealth training. Why I had to be partnered with him, I’ll never know. I’d even prefer working with you over him.”

“I got you out last time, didn’t I?”

“I’d wager that was simply to cover your own arse, Smith. It’s clear to everyone that you dislike each other.”

“Weasley has hated me ever since Hogwarts when I doubted his precious best friend.”

“Harry is a better man than you will ever be. Hell, Zacharias, even Malfoy is a better man than you, and that’s just sad.”

“I would say that I resented that comparison, but at least you had the good taste to say I was a better man.”

“Oi, you lot. I know you hate me for using my intellect during the war, but we need to go.”

“We are going. I don’t hate you…I just don’t like that you exist. What you call ‘using your intellect' everyone else knows is just an excuse for you being a right prick.”

“I always thought that there was a conspiracy against me in the ministry. Now I know there is.”

“Zacharias, will you ever grow out of being a paranoid fool, I wonder?”

“If I’m such a paranoid fool, you should request a change of partner.”

“That is a splendid idea, Zacharias! Pity I didn’t think of it myself.”

The blond eyed the redhead and smirked.

“Thinking was never your strong point, Weaselbee, but there’s nothing wrong with the rest of you. It would be such a shame if anything happened to that gorgeous arse of yours.”

“Enough rhapsodizing over Weasley’s pasty posterior, Malfoy. It’s time to go.”

“Much as I hate to agree with King Twat, he is right.”

“After this mission is over, would you consider being my partner, Malfoy? Zacharias did have a good idea.”

“Even a broken clock gets the time right on occasion.”

“Oi! I’m still in the room! Are we going or not?”

“Let’s not keep His Majesty waiting any longer.”

Comments

[my_thestral]

LOL, the red-and-blond conspiracy to sink that dork! :) I never liked him either, he sounded like the person who wasn't ready to risk his precious self for anything he believed in. I think he and Ron were going to make a terrible team, where Ron would be sank every time by this selfish bastard. In this respect even a canon Draco would be a better choice - he'd probably hate to look bad as a team and he'd do his best to make it work. But your Draco might even be delighted to work with that "queen of all arses" attached to Weasley, LOL! :)
Very entertaining, darling! :D *boys, you keep poking them, yeah? We've got a drarry to compete against!*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Lol! I completely agree with you about Zacharias. Draco would definitely be a better choice of partner for Ron, particularly when he is interested in the arse he's supposed to save. I'm so happy you enjoyed this. That just makes me want to keep writing them.