Triggers galore today

I had to try on clothes today. That always triggers the not-good, hate my body feeling. Being told 'we need to get some weight off those legs" hurts. Badly.

I'm trying not to give into my impulses to starve myself.

I know it's such a stupid thing to get triggered over, but damn it, I can't help it.

i felt like a complete failure at that moment.

I'm healthy, but now I feel fat and ugly.

I feel worthless as all fuck right now, It's stupid, I know, but I do.

I wish i could just disappear from the face of the planet.

I don't mean to bellyache all over my journal, but I had to get that out.

*cries*

In the first place, that was a sucky thing to say, and in the second, my body is MINE, and doesn't belong to anyone else.

I just want to hit something.

*screams*