Portrait of Now

[bleedingangel84]

I'm in a bad frame,
but I want to change
the photo.

Rain against the windows,
cold drizzle against the skin.
Grey light, and a craving for
death.

Everything is cold now,
even with the
heat blasting.

I think Hell must
be a freezing place,
cold and lonely.
At least fire would
turn me to ash.

Floating away
on a
blazing gust
of storm.

Comments

[candamira.livejournal.com]

Hello B.! This is beautiful in an unsettling kind of way. Reading it made me worry - are you okay? If you want to vent or rant, I think you remember my e-mail address? Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know that well than to a close friend. I hope I'm reading too much out of it, that it's 'only' a poem, and not a mirror of your mood!

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Hello. I'm sorry to make you worry. The holidays are usually a low point in my mood, so sometimes I write things like this when I feel at my worst just to get the emotions out. I feel it's healthier for me to express what I feel this way so that I don't end up acting on my darkest thoughts and doing something that would hurt myself or others in any way. I was in a dark place yesterday, and it sort of came to a head in this little poem. I appreciate the offer to talk. It really does mean a lot to me, but at this point, I really don't know what to say about what's going on with me. In any case, I really am thankful for the offer, and that you took the time to comment on this. You are such a nice person, and I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season.

[candamira.livejournal.com]

I'm very relieved that writing the poem helped enough to get over the dark thoughts and kept you from hurting yourself. It's a very strong piece, reflecting the dark place you where in. How sad the holidays usually are a low point to your mood. I hope that might change one day.

It's been a weird year, but luckily the holidays have been nice so far. Please take care of yourself! *hugs*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad your holidays have been nice. I hope they continue to be. Thank you so much for your good wishes. The support really means a lot to me. *hugs*

[my_thestral]

Aw, sounds like you're in a bad place, darling, even though it's a nice and very expressive poem. I'm sorry if you're feeling bad, though on the bright side, I suppose it is a good thing that you're able to express your bad feelings this way - imagine you wouldn't even have an outlet like this; I imagine bad things happen when people don't.
I wish you some brighter, better days and lots of creativity to help you bridge the darkness.
*hugs*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Yup, I've been in sort of a rough space lately, but I figured it was better to write my thoughts out instead of acting on them. I couldn't do that to anyone this time of year. The holidays are my rough time anyway, and being a woman, nature rears its ugly head, and...ugh. Yesterday was just bad, mentally speaking, but the poem did help me to feel a bit better, so there is that. *hugs* Thank you so much for the positive thoughts. I really do appreciate them very much. I'll pass through this eventually. It just takes time. Which kinda sucks, but it could be worse.