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[personal profile] bleedingangel84
Forgive the journal spammage tonight, but I'm in a strange mood, and posting sometimes helps with that.  I'm really feeling drained and tired and emotionally raw. I have the urge to burrow into my bed and hide from the world for a month or more, but I won't because I know that solves fuck all. It's still tempting though. I need to give myself some reasons not to throw myself over the edge, and fast, so that's what I'll do here.

1) Hunter and Aiden
2) Nannie
3) Robin and Aunt Carol
4)My online family and friends
5) HP fan fiction- (don't laugh, please. I know I'm a hopeless fangirl)
6)Dark Shadows
7)The next House of Night book
8) I need to finish reading the Vampire Kisses series
9) I haven't met Marilyn Manson yet
10) I need to eat at least one more helping of full fat tiramisu before I bite the dust.

That's enough to be going on with, I think. Hopefully some of this will pop in mt head the next time I get the suicidal urge.

on 2012-05-23 12:32 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com
*hugs*

I know it sounds trite, but suicide really is a permanent solution to a temporary problem/situation. In the grand scheme of things, our human life spans are quite short, and we should wring all the joy out of them we can. I'm sorry to hear you hit such a low point, but it gladdens me to see that you took a step back and realized there are things out there worth living for, no matter how small or silly they may seem to any one else. Always keep in mind that things get better. They do. Not always as quickly as we would like, but they do improve. Don't chuck away tiramusu and sunsets and fireworks and erotica when things look bleak. Keep your chin up (and your middle finger, too, if need be) and keep on keepin' on. You'll come out the other side stronger and wiser and eager for more of the joys life has to offer.

on 2012-05-23 06:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bleedingangel84.livejournal.com
*hug* Thank you so much for your advice and support. I know what you're saying is right. That's part of the reason I made that list, to remind myself that there are things worth hanging on for. I'll be able to get past this. I was just having a rougher-than-normal few days, and sometimes it gets hard to see that things will get better, even when I know deep down, they will. I usually have healthier coping skills than that, but my mind was in a grey spot. Things are a little better today.

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