Unsafe Haven (aka Sick Thoughts in My Head)

[bleedingangel84]

"Just pull the fucking trigger, honey."
One line, over and over. I'd call it an echo,
but it's not that.

Christ, I just want to bleed. Yes, I said
Christ. I usually don't use that word except in
a religious context.

But, Hell, it's the only word that will
get this venom out of me right now.I'm fucking
sick of being paralyzed.

That's emotionally, you know-not physical.
Not physical at all. I'm empty inside.
Just a breathing shell.

I say a quick prayer under my breath,
unwrap the blade, and cut.I'm hardly aware of
the outside of things.

The cut is deep. Maybe too deep, but I can't
make myself worry now. The feeling is like coming-
coming home. I'm alive, I feel safe, and the blood doesn't hurt.