Inside my head is gloomy today...sorry

[bleedingangel84]

I wish that tears didn't come so easily to me, or so often. I wish I could just stop existing. Period.

In a way, I feel hollow.

I've been keeping my worst thoughts at bay by sleeping when I can.

I exercise a lot.

I watch episodes of Buffy. I eat. I sleep. As far as social interaction, that's near to nil.

I feel like hiding.

I wonder if anyone would care if I just let myself fade out?

I think too much, which I feel is having a negative effect on me.

I just got done reading Growing Pains, by SensiblyTainted for the second time.

Once again, slash distracts from suicidal thinking.

I'll hang on by my teeth until the next happy thing comes along,

I'll feel better for a while until I start thinking too much again, and so my cycle goes.

Sometimes my life is exhausting. It's hard when all I have for company is myself.

Especially when I most often find myself an irritating waste of skin.

Arggh.

I can barely tolerate myself anymore.

I feel like vermin that needs to be exterminated.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling blah. Please don't feel that nobody cares, however. You're more loved than you realize.

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jae. <3