Graaghhh....

[bleedingangel84]

Ok, this is kind of a rant...

So please excuse.

Anyway...

Reasons I hate my life:

1. My grandmother, making comments on my weight after I asked her not to.

She made me feel like a complete lard-o. It hurt, and made me want to never eat again. Ever. She didn't mean it to do that, I know, but it did. I am nowhere near the size or weight I used to be. I exercise. I eat healthily. She says all the time that I eat more healthily than most people she knows. And yet, she pops out today and makes me feel like I'm suddenly over 200 pounds again. Urgh...

2. Just after she says that, she asked me if  wanted pizza for dinner.

Uhh, fuck no. You tell me I don't need to gain weight and then offer me pizza? What the hell kind of logic is that? It makes no sense that I know of. You know I'm having a hard time lately, and yet, you still say things like that. It made me want to hurt myself so much. I just wanted to die. I felt like everything I'd ever done to get healthy was worthless, and I hated it. You made me hate myself more. I know I'm probably being oversensitive, but knowing that doesn't change how I feel, so you can fuck the hell off. Please. Just, please. I love you, but if you can't say something positive, please shut the FUCK up and let me carry on trying to be healthy.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Calmly tell her, "Your comments hurt my feelings and make me doubt my self-worth."

She may not be trying to be hurtful, but that's exactly why she needs to know she IS being hurtful.

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I know I need to say something, but I'm scared that if I do, she still won't understand, or she'll just say I'm overreacting or something. That's generally what happens when I mention things.

[nenne.livejournal.com]

Listen to Jae here, hon. *nods*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

<3 Thank you. The trick is figuring out how to bring it up in a way that won't make her feel guilty or defensive. I also don't want to end up feeling put down again, so it's sometimes hard to know how to handle this kind of thing.