I hate cancer

[bleedingangel84]

I know too many people who are dealing or have dealt with this. I've lost people to this, and it's really a horrible feeling. The worst part is the helplessness that comes with it. It feels like there is nothing you can do but sit and wait for whatever will happen to happen, and it royally sucks. Watching my daddy take treatments was hard. I felt lost and sick, like my world had been turned upside down and inside out.  If cancer were a person, I would beat it up, kill it, resuscitate it, beat it more, and then kill it again.

I close my eyes sometimes at night and picture cancer as this series of dark black balls that I shoot with light until they dissolve from everyone facing cancer. I pray that everyone and anyone touched by cancer never gives up hope. Sometimes hope is all we have, even when it seems to be hanging by a thread. I miss my dad today. Very much. I hate that cancer took him before I was ready for him to go, but I am beyond grateful he doesn't hurt now. He loves me from wherever he is, and I feel that all the time now in a way that I didn't when he was physically alive.

I don't have to wonder if he loved me anymore, because there's not a doubt in my mind he did, even if he couldn't always show it in ways I needed. He felt it, and that's enough.

I'm not sure where this is coming from, or exactly what I wanted to accomplish with this.  I just know there are too many people around me dealing with this thing right now, and I wish somehow that I could take it from them and make their lives better. Healthier. Happier. Health is the ideal state for our bodies, and I want that for everyone.Sometimes things happen  that we have no control over, but I'm making an effort to see positive in regards to cancer. Human will is a strong and powerful thing. Disease can be overcome, and darkness makes the light that much brighter when it does come.

Hope everyone is well.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

At least we're getting closer to a cure. Maybe we'll see it in our lifetimes.

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I truly hope they do find a cure soon. No one deserves cancer.

[alexicyn.livejournal.com]

The thing that keeps me sane(ish) is knowing that we go on from here. Not believing, but knowing. I have seen enough weird shit, and I don't do drugs to know that this is just one stop amongst many our souls make.

Still doesn't stop me from wanting to kick cancer square in the crotch.

Something I read, and I know to be true... death is harder for those of us left behind. I know my dad is no longer in pain, but the selfish part of me wants him back every single day, just for one more hug. But I know he is better now, and that is what keeps me smiling, even when that smile doesn't always reach my eyes.

HUGS

You aren't alone in feeling what you feel. And it does get better (as cliched as that sounds.)

HUGS

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

I've had my fair share of weird experiences, too. I know that life goes on beyond this realm, and that really does help a lot. It's hard to be the one left behind, but I'm thankful and grateful that my dad isn't in pain, no matter how much the selfish side of me wishes he was here to talk to. Thank you so much for your kindness and support. It means more than I can say. *hugs and cuddles*

[veritas03.livejournal.com]

*hugs* ♥

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

*hugs* <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this. I think LJ must've glitched and missed sending it to me.