What do I do?

[bleedingangel84]

I'm really struggling lately with the desire to engage in some self-destructive behaviors. The urges are in my mind a lot lately. I haven't given in to anything, but the thought is there in my head. There is a certain person who seems to be setting this thought off a lot, and I can't get away from her. I have no intentions of acting on these thoughts, but the fact that they are in my head at all really bothers me.  Part of my head is begging me to act on them, but the more rational (thankfully larger) part of me knows it's not a good idea. I feel like I'm hurting somewhere deep inside on a level I can't even describe. It has nothing to do with physical pain.

It's more of a soul-deep, animalistic urge to howl until I get all the hurt out of me. I hurt inside, and I can't pinpoint why. I've been busier and much more active lately, but I still feel lonely and isolated. There's no one I know who can help me address that feeling. Talking about it with my family only makes me feel worse. And most of the people I consider friend enough to talk this over with are either busy, far away, online or some combination of all three of those. I'm on emotional overload, and I feel ready to explode if I don't find some way to feel better soon.

Comments

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

D:

I'm sorry to hear you're feel so frustrated. Please take care of yourself; you're the only YOU we have. *hugs*

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jae. *hugs* <3

[digthewriter]

All the best and just hang in there!!! ♥
Don't go on the self-destructive route, think of positive things. I know it's tough but you'll get through it! x

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thanks for encouraging me to stay positive. I really appreciate it! <3