Triggers galore today
Mar. 16th, 2014 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bleedingangel84I had to try on clothes today. That always triggers the not-good, hate my body feeling. Being told 'we need to get some weight off those legs" hurts. Badly.
I'm trying not to give into my impulses to starve myself.
I know it's such a stupid thing to get triggered over, but damn it, I can't help it.
i felt like a complete failure at that moment.
I'm healthy, but now I feel fat and ugly.
I feel worthless as all fuck right now, It's stupid, I know, but I do.
I wish i could just disappear from the face of the planet.
I don't mean to bellyache all over my journal, but I had to get that out.
*cries*
In the first place, that was a sucky thing to say, and in the second, my body is MINE, and doesn't belong to anyone else.
I just want to hit something.
*screams*
I'm trying not to give into my impulses to starve myself.
I know it's such a stupid thing to get triggered over, but damn it, I can't help it.
i felt like a complete failure at that moment.
I'm healthy, but now I feel fat and ugly.
I feel worthless as all fuck right now, It's stupid, I know, but I do.
I wish i could just disappear from the face of the planet.
I don't mean to bellyache all over my journal, but I had to get that out.
*cries*
In the first place, that was a sucky thing to say, and in the second, my body is MINE, and doesn't belong to anyone else.
I just want to hit something.
*screams*
no subject
on 2014-03-16 05:39 pm (UTC)I was thinking that if you have a ball you could throw it against something repeatedly. It'd be less painful than hitting something. Or maybe ripping a bunch of paper you don't need, or cardboard. Something you can go wild with.
no subject
on 2014-03-17 11:13 pm (UTC)I really ought to try that. It would probably help.