Long day is loooong...

[bleedingangel84]

They didn't come to pick my nephew up from his tutoring until about 7:30pm. My brain is beyond fried. I'm struggling with the stress I've been dealing with lately, and it's making me wish I was still engaging in my more harmful pastimes.I have healthier ways to cope, and I know that. Right now, though, part of my brain wants to say "fuck off" to anything healthy because i just want to self-destruct.  I won't, but I want to. I had to put that out there, if for no other reason than for the sake of honesty.

I sometimes wish I was dead. That has been happening more often lately. I should say here that I have no plans or intentions to do anything that drastic, so please don't worry about that. I've just noticed that I tend to get morbidly introspective when I get stressed, and that is not really the best thing for my well-being, because I start to feel like a drain on my family, and a burden. I do my best to make sure that I'm not. I give back in whatever way I can, but I'm not Wonder Woman. I have to navigate around my limitations, and sometimes that is the world's biggest pain in my ass. But, if I didn't have this, then maybe I'd have to be some ignorant asshat. So, I think I'll stick it out. I'd rather have physical challenges than have a small mind.

Anyway, I hope everyone is well. Love and positive thoughts for all.

Comments

[bleedingangel84.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for being so awesome. I really do appreciate you. My life can be hard sometimes, but there is a lot of good in it too. On the bad days, that can be really hard to see. Thanks for reminding me of it. I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet, no worries. It's not so easy to get rid of me. Thank you very much for everything. *glomps you and offers chocolate* *hugs* <3