I just wanna cry. I mean hard down bawl. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and I want to fucking scream. Or cut. Or something. I don't even know. I just wish I didn't feel the way I do right now.
Just lots of things piling up. Some little and some not so little. And I feel helpless to control most of it, which is why I'm feeling like major crud this last little while. I didn't do anything harmful to myself, so no need to worry on that score. Thank you so much for the support.
<3 I'm working on the letting it out bit. My emotions are kinda rollercoaster-ish at the moment, but I hate to whine too much. I know there are other who have it worse than me, so I don't feel right complaining too often.
Sometimes I also wish I had a paintball course at home and I could just shoot at the imagined targets randomly, possibly yelling insults all the while. ;) *weird thestral is weird* If you want to cry - no one should be stopping you. It's not a weakness, you know, it's a way to get emotions and stress out of the system so you can think clearly and act sanely. Think of it as melting the tension and have the excess pour out in tears. It might leave you feeling a bit empty, but you need to put some good emotions into the void. Go do good things with yourself instead of bad ones. Sleep, read, draw, write, watch your favourite show or a silly youtube video (possibly a fan made one with your favourite pairing ;)). I've talked to cutters enough to understand what it does for them when they cut themselves - apparently it's a form of instant relief, but those quick fixes never work in a long run, you need to find a way to deal with this in a healthier way. And now I sound like an annoying shrink and not a friend at all, do I? :( I have the best intentions, but I don't know how to fix this for you, babe, I'm kind of hoping you'll find a way on your own, because I'd miss you, if one day, you'd be gone. My specialty: jumbo-jet-sized-hugs for you, Madame! I hope a better day is just a night away.
Actually, that whole thing with the paintball course sounds like a wonderful idea to me. I know that crying is healthier than cutting, but I can't seem to cry when I need to or want to. My tears tend to make appearances at the most inconvenient times. I know that cutting doesn't work long-term, and it has its own consequences that are less than pleasant. I generally employ healthier coping skills these days, but I've just been through more than my usual stressors lately, so the thought of cutting seems more appealing than it has in long time. But I know that just because i have a thought doesn't mean I have to act on it. I may even want to act on it, but I don't have the energy to deal with the mess that would accompany said action. You don't sound like a shrink, and I'm grateful that someone cares enough to talk sense into me when I can't do it myself. Thank you so much for everything. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the hugs and support. <3 *hugs*
no subject
on 2014-09-22 08:22 pm (UTC)What's the matter?
Feel free to talk it out!
no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:31 am (UTC)It's better to just let it all out, I am sure you know.
Hopefully things will pick up! Feel free to write to us here all you want! ♥
no subject
on 2014-09-24 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-22 10:27 pm (UTC)Hang in there, sweetie! And feel free to vent to us. ♥
no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-23 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:36 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-23 06:56 am (UTC)If you want to cry - no one should be stopping you. It's not a weakness, you know, it's a way to get emotions and stress out of the system so you can think clearly and act sanely. Think of it as melting the tension and have the excess pour out in tears. It might leave you feeling a bit empty, but you need to put some good emotions into the void. Go do good things with yourself instead of bad ones. Sleep, read, draw, write, watch your favourite show or a silly youtube video (possibly a fan made one with your favourite pairing ;)).
I've talked to cutters enough to understand what it does for them when they cut themselves - apparently it's a form of instant relief, but those quick fixes never work in a long run, you need to find a way to deal with this in a healthier way. And now I sound like an annoying shrink and not a friend at all, do I? :( I have the best intentions, but I don't know how to fix this for you, babe, I'm kind of hoping you'll find a way on your own, because I'd miss you, if one day, you'd be gone.
My specialty: jumbo-jet-sized-hugs for you, Madame! I hope a better day is just a night away.
no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-23 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-09-24 12:51 am (UTC)